If Superwoman isn't the answer then who or what is ?

In a recent newsletter I described the archetype of our times, Superwoman. In particular why she is not so super and why she will damage us deeply. I shared that she will drive us into the ground, harm our well-being and make us feel stressed and unfulfilled. 

We know we are essentially exactly the same animal as we were hundreds of thousands of years ago as we evolved and so is our male / female biology. However our roles and responsibilities and opportunities have changed.

The male has about 13 times more testosterone than women and this testosterone is protective and supports constant focus and energy. 

When women are feeling stressed, under pressure, working very long days etc etc they will run on testosterone but it runs out pretty quickly and when it runs out our female bodies can start to feel very stressed and bothered about failing, maybe not keeping our job, keeping all these balls in the air, all these tabs in our brain running. 

It’s very threatening and in the brain our amygdala senses this.

The fight/flight/freeze mode starts up and via the HPA axis we secrete Adrenaline and then Cortisol. Over time our bodies and our organs are essentially bathed in stress hormones. This can be the case for many weeks, months, even years, sometimes even decades and there will be an impact on one's health because of this.

Sleep can be very heavily impacted. Those of us that go to bed at night and feel tired but wired will know this. Our bodies and minds are exhausted but we have adrenaline and cortisol still buzzing round and we can't switch off. 

The body will use the same raw ingredients to create Cortisol as it does to create sex hormones and it will prioritise Cortisol and that might be the reason why our reproductive systems and menopause are such a challenge.

A whole host of other stuff can occur because Cortisol creates more inflammation in the body and as we know that has an impact on possibly cancer and possibly autoimmune disease and other metabolic disorders as well.

Now, let's get some balance. The really good news for women is actually we've got amazing opportunities right now 

• 80% of the newly self-employed since 2008 are women we're setting up businesses we're running our own companies

• According to CNN women are the largest economic Force in the world it's not a country like China or India it's women.  We decide how money is spent what it's invested in where it goes that actually comes with a lot of power responsibility

• There is a huge calling for more women on boards at senior management level government and at all levels of leadership

• And no pressure here but the Dalai Lama said that the world will be saved by the Western woman probably what he means is women that are resourced and that could well be us.

So the hypothesis that I'm going to share with you now is that the power that it took to get us where we are today is not the kind of power that's going to be able to sustain us in the long term and take us into the next chapter. 

We are so very grateful for the Suffragettes and those who fought for our rights to equal work and pay from the 1970s onwards, what they achieved is just brilliant and I send them only love and gratitude. 

So my suggestion is that instead of always operating in a very masculine ie Superwoman way, we can choose to step into a different kind of power, take our own power back and this is called Soft Power. It is no less powerful than masculine power. It's just different, maybe the difference between petrol and diesel for example, they are both good fuels but they have to be in the correct engine to work

This soft power is not about one or the other - being masculine or feminine all the time it is about harmony. It's about using the strength of the feminine not diminishing it

This is in essence what I teach in my coaching and teaching program, it's about bringing some new archetypes in as a way of replacing Superwoman.

We can retire Superwoman but we need to have something in her place and each of these five archetypes which I will explain below, when used together create Soft Power.

We don't actually have to look very hard to discover that there's a huge strength in femininity and so I work with these five women's power types. They're all very feminine and they are all very strong and very powerful and they are 

• the Warrioress 

• the Lover 

• the Mother 

• the Sorceress

• the Queen 

Queen. She is  the most natural Power Type to be in a leadership position at any level and she's all about vision, big picture and legacy. She's about order and structure. She's great at taking advice because a Queen will have her Privy Council and she would take counsel from her trusted advisers. She has great boundaries so she knows when to say no and she also is very good at caring for herself and looking after herself because she knows she can't look after all the people in her Kingdom or Queendom or her realm if she doesn't do this.

Warrioress is the closest to Superwoman and is actually the closest to a masculine energy. She's great for getting projects started, she's a youthful athletic energy, she has fun and is playful. When you're doing rough and tumble with the kids - that’s Warrioress energy.  A boxercise class can bring out your Warrioress energy for example. She leads from the front, she's all about making sure things are fair and right and justice is seen to be done.

But we only use her in small doses….too much of her leads to burnout of self and of teams led by her

Lover is all about the senses and feelings. Really successful people in sales roles or who need to influence others need a high Lover score because it's all about being charismatic, attracting, captivating, and influencing. In high lover energy you'll be able to feel all your emotions. That could be anger or fear or shame but also bliss or awe or joy and all that stuff that's often missing from many of our lives. It's also about using all of your senses -sight, sound, taste, touch, smell. Lover is the centre of our self care.

Sorceress is that part of us that is connected to something bigger sometimes we could call it God or Buddha or Allah or the Universe or quantum physics for example. It can be a little bit of manifesting, making stuff happen, that sprinkle of Magic. She is a master of her chosen technologies. Someone very high in Sorceress energy is a sort of person that often appears quite effortless, they just make things happen. There's a good degree of wisdom, they love learning and sharing their learning.  She is a slightly older energy, full of knowledge and healing

Mother energy is the place of care, compassion, nurture, unconditional love and support. It's the energy that I aim to be in when I'm coaching. It's a really good place to come from to support others. it's a place of safety and it's also a really good place when you want people to develop and grow like your chicks in a nest so that they can fly and leave fully prepared for the world. 

The only flip side of Mother and Warrioress sometimes is they can sacrifice too much to do but I teach how to only do this in a manageable way.

Many of the women that I work with at the start have under-expressed Queen and Lover and often very over-expressed Mother and Warrioress sometimes. I come across women who's Warrioress energy is really really low and this is indicative that they have burnt out. 

Conclusion

So pushing through in superwoman is not so super, it’s not a sustainable way of operating. 

I introduce to you the alternative to Superwoman, a new kind of power, a sustainable, powerful, feminine fuel perfectly suited to our cyclical biology which provides longevity and flexibility for women in the corporate world. This nurtures better self leadership, improved teamwork and greater levels of harmony in the workplace. With increased self awareness, confidence, gravitas and energy these women are empowered and enabled to step up, give more and make the impact the world needs them to make without compromising their well-being, relationships or risking burnout 

I hope you can now understand why and how the way many of us have been living and working is not sustainable. I hope you can now understand that this is not your fault and you are not to blame and how the archetype of our times aka Superwoman will drive not us to success but to breaking point maybe even complete collapse. I also hope that now you can see that it doesn't have to be this way and that YOU can take your power back. SOFT POWER